Done with errors

Child #1 [looking at me writing something down]: What’s that? Me: It’s a recipe for duck a l’orange. Do you know what that is? Child #1: No. Me: It’s duck with something else. Do you know what the other thing in the recipe might be? Child #1: Sand?

Child #1: Can I come and do some stuff with you? Me: I thought you were doing stuff with mummy in the garden? Child #1: It’s boring and it makes my neck hurt.

Child #1 made a to do list for a day in the garden with mummy. It takes some deciphering but if you do you’ll find it wasn’t worth it at all.

Collage by Child #2. Sometime in May 2009 Reserve price: £1

Child #1: You’d have liked it at Oliver’s party – they had special disco face paint!

Child #1 [at the car boot sale]: If you see naked people you have to tell me and I will tickle them.

Child #1: Can you take my sunglasses with you when you go to Grandma and Grandad’s? Me: OK Child #1: Good. I will meringue you later.

Child #1 [just arrived home with mummy and child #2]: We am decided, when it’s nearly summer we will make an ice lolly cause it takes very long.

Child #1: “We had fun today at the oxhibition.”

[Child #1 and #2 appear at the bottom of the stairs with their sunhats on] Child #1: “We’re going to the seaside.” Me: “OK. Which seaside are you going to?” Child #1. “Well, you know the North Pole? Well, the doctors is near that and the seaside is near the doctors.”