Monthly Archives: March 2010

A stinky thing

5 past 3 near the beach


Daddy [Hears noise outside and opens the window to see what’s going on]: “Hey, come in and change you two. You can’t rollerskate in your pajamas.” Child #1: “It’s the weekend, dude.”


Child #2 [looking at her sister and then at me]: “We don’t like boys. They do a farty at us.”

Tidal wilderness

Saw this exhibition yesterday. The wife had pointed me towards the gallery but had meant for me to like the main exhibition (which I found good, but a bit twee) whereas I thought she had picked out Andrew Hardwick’s work for me to see.  It’s rare that I use the chairs in a gallery […]


Child #1: “An elephant eats 2000 metergram of food each day.”


Child #2 [is talking to a cat. The cat meows. Then, excitedly points and says]: “He’s saying ‘hello’ in Cat French!”


[Daddy is reading a stiker book with Child #1 and trying to get them to read the easy words] Child #1: “Can you read all of the words, please? It’s just I want to chop on with the stickers.”


Child #2 [pointing]: “Look! That car’s got its lid off!”

Mummy’s an alcaholic

Mummy [turns on the tap]: “Oh, the water’s gone off.” Child #1: “Never mind, we can use wine to brush our teeth.”