Category Archives: kids

Wild goose chase

Child #1: “There were lots of answers you could choose but some of them were blue herons.”

Deep and crisp and even

Child#2 [after playing Good King Wenceslas on the cornet. In July): “Is there really a Feast of Stephen?” Daddy: “Yes” Child#2: “Can we go?”  

Perforation

Child #2 [after re-reading this entry]: “…but wouldn’t that help? It would be an extra hole you could hear through?”

Untrue

Grandma: “I used to skip and dance around just like you.” Child #2 [seriously]: “Grandma, you know you shouldn’t tell lies.”

Occupational hazard

[Mummy tries her new chef’s jacket on. After being a chef. For 3 years.]   Daddy: “Guess what job mummy does?” Child #2: “Dentist?” …. Child #2 [seeing us laughing]: “…nurse?”

Browsing

Child #1: “What’s the difference between Google Chrome and Mozzarella Weefox?”

Quinine

Child#2: “Can I have some more of that Indian Toxic Water?”

Ear

Child #1 [in bed, pointing at Child#2]: “She did a farty in my ear with her bare bottom.” Child #2 [proudly]: “I’ve always wanted to try it.”

Timer

[The Christmas lights are on a timer in a small space under a cupboard] Daddy: “Can you get the the timer, please?” Child #2: “No, because spiders wee and poo under there.”

*Flat

Child #2 [grinning]: “I’ve done a fatulence”