Done with errors

Kicking off 25 (maybe) days of Christmas-themed posts.

[A lady is giving out jelly dinosaur sweets in the supermarket] Child#2 [excitedly]: “Look Daddy, a DianaRossaurus!”

Child#2 [Going into the kitchen]: “Pooooo! It’s stinky in here!” Daddy [shouting after her]: “What sort of stinky?” Child#2: “Stinky like it makes all the flowers fall down.”

Child#2 [talking to one of the other mums at school]: “Do you know, my mummy and daddy go to sleep in the same bed. My daddy goes on the farty side and mummy goes on the nice side.”

[Child #2 is helping empty the dishwasher] Mummy: “Be careful of the sharp knife” Child#2 [handing it over carefully]: “Here you go Mummy. Careful not to sharp you.”

Child#2: “Daddy, where are you going?” Daddy: “Work” Child#2: “Is that near our school?” Daddy: “No, it’s in Miseryland” Child#2 [concerned]: “But that’s so far away.”

[directed towards me] Child #2: “You stink. I’m going to chop your bottom off.” Child #1: “I’m going to punch your face right through your winkie.”

[We’ve been teaching Child#1 how to say ‘Cheers’ in French] Child#1 [Raises her glass]: “Salad”