Done with errors

Child #1: “Where are Grandma and Grandad?” Mum: “They’ve gone out to the pub to have their tea” Child #1: “But it’s dark” Mum: “Yes, but adults eat later than you do, you’ve already had your tea.” Child #1: “But how will they see their food?”

Child #1 [getting ready for school, looking through her wardrobe and not happy]: All my clothes are disapointed.

Child #1 [lying in bed in the dark]: I’ve got a statue on my tongue

Child #1: There’s a lady at church called Roger who used to be a nurse.   [I guess she used to be something else, too]

Child #1 [has wet her pants and is upstairs asking for a new pair] D: It’ll be night time soon. Just put your skirt back on and come down for tea. Child #1: But if I sit at the table like that everyone will be able to see my front bottom.

Child #1: My poo is really flat.

Child #1 [comes back from school with mummy]: Hello D: How was your day? Child #1: I forgot. M: What do you mean you forgot – you’ve only just come back. Child #1 [thinks for a bit]: I definitely remember we did home-time.

C#1 [in June]: For Christmas I want a mote control. D: You mean a remote control? C#1: No. A mote control. D: What’s that then? C#1: It’s like a hole punch but it doesn’t make holes – it makes games. [Extra points for you if you can work out what it is she was talking […]

Child #2 [randomly, to me, with a cross look on her face]:  No, you’re the best.

[Child #1 is holding something that we require] D:  Can i take that yet? C#1: Not very yet.