Done with errors

Child #2: “Daddy smells of poo. And farties. And burps.” Child #1 [glumly]: “I wish I didn’t have a nose”

Child #2: “Oh no. A star fell from the nuit.”

Daddy [going through this week’s spellings]: “How do you spell ‘I’m’?” Child #1: “Easy. I – apostranaut – M.”

Child #2 [matter of fact-ly]: “I’m in love with the stairs”

Mummy: “You’re not having any chocolate because you were very naughty. You shouldn’t have opened the car door while daddy was driving.” Child #2: “It’s not my fault. You should have chosen another car. An indigo one.”

Daddy: “Did you have fun at school today?” Child #1: “Yes. We had party food. 3 biscuits and some apple juice” [thinks for a bit] “Not much, but still fun.”

Daddy: “What’s that a picture of?” Child #1: “It’s Mrs Mango. We’ve stuck her in the dustbin. ..And it’s full of poison and water.”

Child #2 [pointing at our car]: “Car is ouch” Daddy: “Yes it’s broken” Child #2: “What happened to it?” Daddy: “Someone crashed into it” Child #2: “Who?” Daddy: “An old lady” Child #2 [pauses for a minute]: “Was it mummy?”

Child #1: “We’re learning about the 1980’s at school. We’ve learnt about breakdancing. And Rubiks Cubes. And that lady no-one likes. Ma-something…. Ma….. Ma….?”